Watchmen (2009 motion comic)

Posted: July 21, 2014 in DC, Watchmen
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2009 was supposed to be the year of Watchmen. In the summer of 2008 (right before Comic-Con) the trailer for the long-awaited film adaptation was released to insane levels of excitement from the fan community. Almost immediately, sales of the graphic novel skyrocketed putting it back into the New York Times best sellers list. Not bad for a 22 year old comic book. DC and Warner Bros. geared up the merchandising machine and cranked out new reissues of the book, a toyline, memorabilia, a videogame, a photography book and a motion comic.

Right away, I want you to know that I am going to be spending very little time discussing the plot or characters of this story. It’s essentially identical to the original comic and if you haven’t read that already, you really should. Overall, the purpose of this blog will be to look at the similarities and differences between mediums (page to screen, etc.). When there are no real differences in visuals, characters or plotting, discussing similarities becomes pointless. Thus, a more in-depth discussion of the story will take place during the Watchmen film write-up.

Soft focus in comics feels oddly unnatural, but makes sense.

Motion comics are a relatively new form of comic media. Although early comic-based cartoons used a similar approach. Essentially, it’s the actual art from a comic book that is moved around and manipulated to mimic animation. Early motion comics typically only featured sound cues and music while the panels were simply scanned exactly how they looked on the page. They were then given narration and voice actors to portray the characters. The Watchmen adaptation isn’t the first in the field (that would be Broken Saints) but it’s early enough that it lacks some of the refinement that later motion comics achieved. That said, it does experiment a bit with perspective and some rudimentary movement. Most often, focus is used within a panel so that your attention is fixed on what’s important in the scene. It’s interesting to see something like that in a comic, where it sticks out and seems rather obvious, as opposed to a film where it’s used with such regularity that the average person doesn’t even notice it.

Perhaps the most jarring aspect of this particular piece of media is the voice cast. The story of Watchmen has dozens of characters, all of which have very different mannerisms, styles of speaking and tones of voice. This adaptation features a cast of exactly one actor. Tom Stechschulte plays every single character in this story as well as the narrator. He plays Dan Dreiberg, he plays Rorschach, he plays Dr. Manhattan and he plays Silk Spectre (both of them). Let that sink in for a second. He does a decent job and he has quite a range on his voice, but at the end of the day you’re listening to a dude talk to himself for 2 and a half hours. At best, it sounds like a kid playing with his G.I. Joe’s when none of his friends are able to come over. At worst, it resembles the insane rantings of a dissociative identity disorder sufferer while locked in a padded cell. There’s just no getting around it. The more you try to forget that it’s just one guy, the more you notice the similar tones or inflections that each voice has, it’s really kind of maddening. In some scenes this can get a bit uncomfortable as well, like when Laurie and Dan are getting intimate. Hearing a guy voice a male and female in a love scene is a special kind of weird.

I said initially that 2009 was supposed to be the year of Watchmen. Those who follow such things know that, in fact, it was not. Despite the seemingly undying hype, the film was released to little fanfare from critics and fans. And the studio’s marketing juggernaut quickly lost steam due to a variety of reasons. The general public didn’t have a whole lot of interest in a depressing epic about superheroes’ private lives and even less interest in refrigerator magnets with Ozymandias’s face on them. Add to that the overabundance of merchandise and quality issues with some items (the video game, The End is Nigh, is borderline unplayable) and it’s a wonder that this movie isn’t regarded the same way as Star Wars: Episode 1 in the public’s consciousness. As such, the motion comic was largely ignored or quickly forgotten by the average consumer. While it’s not exactly amazing, it is a valiant attempt and noticeable step in the right direction for the media. I, myself, rather enjoy motion comics and like watching them progress. If only they could have hired a full cast.

Starring Tom Stechschulte! With Special guest, Tom Stechschulte!

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011 film)

Posted: July 16, 2014 in Dark Horse, Dylan Dog, Sergio Bonelli Editore
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Writer, philosopher and all-around genius Umberto Ecco once said that there are three things that he can read for days without being bored. Those three things are The Bible, the works of Homer and Dylan Dog. And yet, I’m guessing that a vast majority of people reading this have never heard of the titular Nightmare Investigator. For some reason, the surreal adventures of Dylan and his sidekick Groucho (a character that was modeled directly on Groucho Marx, copyrights be damned) never really caught on in the United States. However, in most of the rest of the world, Dylan Dog is one of the most read comic books.
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The Rocketeer (1991 film)

Posted: July 10, 2014 in Comico, Dark Horse, Eclipse, IDW, Rocketeer
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Ah, The Rocketeer, one of the noblist of noble failures. I remember seeing this in the theatre when I was in first grade and being absolutely blown away by it. I ran around the front yard with a backpack hanging off of me and a bucket on my head re-enacted my favorite scenes. Sadly, my enthusiasm for the film faded quickly, not unlike the general public’s opinion at the time.
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GUEST COLUMN: Brian Baer’s Giant Sized Man-Thing

Posted: June 27, 2014 in Baer, Guest Column, Man-Thing, Marvel
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**This entry was written by Brian Baer as part of my Guest Column series. Thanks Brian!**

“Whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man-Thing!!!”

This oft-printed caption box is typically the only introduction to the Man-Thing required. A brilliant scientist was betrayed in the Florida Everglades and, thanks to an experimental serum, became fused with the swamp vegetation. Now a shambling, barely conscious creature, the Man-Thing’s highly empathic nature causes him to reach out with a burning touch. Anyone in his presence feeling fear would be scarred, immolated, or worse.
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Jailbait (2013 film)

Posted: June 19, 2014 in Not based on a comic, The Asylum
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*NOTE* You’ll find that this article has significantly less pictures than usual. Turns out a Google image search for “Jailbait Movie” brings up some interesting and unrelated results.

I’m always on the lookout for new or unusual comic book related films and TV shows. Naturally, my interest was piqued when I noticed a movie that prominently declared “Based on the Graphic Novel” when browsing Netflix. I did some quick searches via IMDb, Wikipedia and Film Aficionado but couldn’t find much on said film or the comic on which it is supposedly based. Regardless, when I discovered the DVD at Hastings for $1.99, I snatched it up. All hope for anything resembling a decent film was dashed as soon as I saw that this production was the work of The Asylum.

For the uninitiated, The Asylum is a production company that specializes in confusion. They make “Mockbusters”. Cheap films with misleading titles designed to capitalize on whatever’s popular at the time. When Transformers came out in theatres, they released Transmorphers on DVD. When Snakes on a Plane was released, they created Snakes on a Train. Speed Racer, Street Racer. The Hobbit, Age of the Hobbits. I Am Legend, I Am Omega. The list, humorously, goes on and on and on.

Such is the cinematic pedigree of Jailbait. But it’s based on a comic, right? How is that ripping anything off? Well, a giant red-flag on that front is the fact that there is only a single credited writer on this film. There’s no “Based on…” credit which, theoretically, every comic-based movie should have. After some quick research, I found that this was, in fact, NOT based on anything. It was made to ride on the coat-tales of the wildly popular Netflix series Orange is the New Black (the cover even draws the comparison). They slapped the “graphic novel” tagline on this piece of trash and then just hastily created a comic tie-in after the fact (probably in an effort to cast a wider marketing net). The book on which this is “based” is titled 17 and Life: Jailbait. Hilariously, it’s published by The Asylum’s own comic book department. Which apparently is something that actually exists. I would post an image of the comic’s cover, but this is a respectable blog and I’d like to keep it that way.

But all of this begs the question, “How is the actual movie?” In short, it’s awful. The film is about a 17 year old girl (that is noticeably played by a muuuuch older actress) who accidentally kills her sexually abusive step-father. So she’s sent to juvie…which is portrayed as a high-security prison. The story tries really hard to be exploitative and, oddly enough, fails miserably at it. I didn’t think it was hard to make an exploitation film, and it may not be, but it’s clearly just hard enough. It’s amateurishly shot, lit, scored and edited. And that’s pretty much par for The Asylum.

I don’t say this much, but you should seriously not watch this movie. It’s boring, derivative and clearly made to cash in on something better. Just go watch an actual exploitation movie if you’re in the mood for one. And if you’re interested in prison drama, go watch Orange is the New Black. It’s pretty good.

In a largely fruitless attempt to discover some silver lining from this huge storm cloud, I came to a conclusion. I think it says something about the legitimacy of comic movies as a genre when they’re being aped from to sell trash like this. And, in a way, that tells a story that box office receipts can’t. Comic movies don’t just make money, they also have a level of credibility that makes others want to steal from them. That’s something, right?

Justice League of America (1997 television pilot)

Posted: June 11, 2014 in DC, Flash, Green Lantern, Justice League
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Have you ever heard of an elevator pitch? Now that I provided a helpful link, you should all be saying, “Yes! Of course! Don’t ask condescending questions!” Ok, jeeze. I have watched this pilot more times than I care to admit and one thing keeps running through my mind: what was the elevator pitch for this? I can just imagine some excited executive at CBS breathlessly explaining his grand scheme for this series, “It’s Friends but with superpowers!” And his boss, dollar signs clouding his vision responds with, “Yep. Let’s do it.”
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X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014 film)

Posted: June 2, 2014 in Marvel, Quicksilver, Sentinels, Shadowcat, Wolverine, X-Men
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*NOTE* Since this film was recently released, this will be a quick, spoiler-free write up that focuses less on plot and more on the feelings that this film evoked within me.

All franchises mutate.


Fittingly, the X-Men franchise is the only comic film series from the modern era to run continuously. These movies are able to adapt and evolve like the mutants on which they are based. In the 14 years since X-Men first hit screens we’ve seen three different iterations of the Hulk (in two different film series), two different, unconnected adaptations of The Punisher, and two whole Spider-franchises. And yet the X-Men continue on, undaunted. There have been ups and downs in their 14 years as a franchise, but with this film I can honestly say that it was all worth it.

It’s rare to see a studio actively admit that they have learned from their past mistakes. But, in the lead-up to this film, everyone involved very publicly acknowledged the miss-steps of the series and assured fans that it would be actively correcting them. That’s a shocking amount of honesty from a studio (it’s telling that one of the most vocal supporters of this retcon campaign was a writer on X-Men: The Last Stand, which is considered a very low point for the franchise). And that’s cool, but in the lead-up to the film’s production there were still plenty of unknowns. The cast seemed unwieldy and continued to grow well into production, some of the character designs were met with skepticism and outright laughter, and focusing on Wolverine in lieu of letting another mutant shine rubbed some the wrong way. While many remained hopeful, there was a growing tide of fanboy whining that threatened to derail the sentiment put out by the studio and makers of the film.

“I don’t like his costume!
Naturally, this film will suck!”
-Fanboy #973

Luckily, fanboy rage is usually misguided. The film was released a couple of weeks ago and it is not only an unqualified financial success (highest grossing X-Movie in only 2 weeks) but also a critical darling (92% on Rotten Tomatoes) as well as the closest a cinematic outing has been to the comics on which they are based.

There are many things to love in this movie: The interaction between the classic and future casts, Sentinels on screen at last and the complicated relationship between Magneto and Xavier. However, to me there is one moment that is the most important of not just the film, but the entire film series: it features a lovingly crafted and warmly set ending that provides a sense of hope in an otherwise dire and dark story.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the purpose of the X-Men. They are here to remind us that life isn’t fair; that there are people out there who hate others just because of who they are and how they choose to live. Some of them will proselytize and do everything in their power to destroy the life that YOU find normal and what’s worse is that they will cloak those sentiments in politics or religion. But in the end, if we band together and face those evils we will overcome them. It may take years or decades but it WILL happen. Evolution marches on and the only thing it leaves behind is antiquated thinking.

GUEST COLUMN: "Welcome to the Cold Zone"

Posted: June 1, 2014 in Batman, Batman & Robin, Guest Column, Joel Schumacher, JR, Mr. Freeze
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*NOTE*: To keep up with demand, I am institituing a new feature of this blog: guest columns! The following was written by friend and contributer J.R. Shartzer. Enjoy!

Batman & Robin was the first movie that offended me.

Kids think that everything is AWESOME. If it’s loud and shiny, kids will buy it. That’s what I attribute the success of those Transformers movies to. Anyway, I remember exiting the movie theater in June of 1997. I was eleven, about to turn twelve, and the stupidest thing was eating at me. See, I will accept that Batgirl is not Barbara Gordon and is Alfred’s niece. I will accept that Batman has a personalized credit card. I will even accept that Bane is a mindless goon. But there was one quick moment that stuck with me. Read the rest of this entry »

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990 film)

Posted: May 29, 2014 in Mirage, Sam Rockwell, Shredder, Splinter, TMNT
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It’s funny to think that we live in a world where an insanely profitable film can be made from a cartoon that was based on a comic book designed to skewer common tropes of the media at the time.


I’ll never forget being in kindergarten and looking through a scholastic book-order flyer one day. Among the usual stuff (I don’t even slightly recall what kids read back then) was an advertisement featuring live-action versions of the well-known reptilian crime fighters. I now know it was an ad for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie novelization, but at the time I was dumbfounded. I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing. “Were they real? Was this some new show? A tour? What was this?!” My mind raced with the possibilities. I don’t know how, but I eventually found out there was in fact a film based on the cartoon which I had grown to love so much.

The Ninja Turtles franchise as a whole is interesting to me. Like nearly an entire generation of people, my first exposure to them was from the animated series. I’d argue that this is the first comic-book based franchise to get a vast majority of its exposure through a media other than the printed word/picture. I realize that the original comics were popular, however, they were nowhere near as insanely popular as the cartoon series. Hell, it wasn’t until the mid-90’s or so that I discovered that the comics came first. I’d be willing to bet that for a large number of 80’s kids that statement (or one like it) is also true.

“We’re gonne be stars!” “SHUT UP MIKEY!”

Looking back on this movie, it’s difficult to delineate the nostalgia from the actual product. And while viewing with fresh eyes is impossible, I still think this is a decent action movie. What’s more, I wholeheartedly believe it’s the absolute best adaptation of the characters that we could have hoped for at the time the movie came out. It’s not a perfect film, but it stays true to the core characters, their story and their supporting cast. In fact, there are plot points from the film that are taken directly from various issues of the comic:

-Their origin is more or less identical (which is, in itself, just Daredevil’s origin from a different angle).
-Raphael’s first encounter with Casey Jones.
-Many plot points involving the Foot Clan (which are also a reference to Daredevil’s Hand ninja clan).
-April’s farm and the battle in her apartment.

Young Sam Rockwell: The unsung hero of the film

The personalities of the turtles are individual enough to differentiate them (even if they do come off a little one-note) in a way that’s only slightly more subtle than their colored masks. Basically, if this is all someone knew of the Turtles, they’d have a decent starting point to their universe. And really, that’s saying quite a bit. The cartoon obviously put the kid-gloves on the characters and their world and I’m sure it was very tempting to do that with a film as well (and the movie definitely didn’t ignore the cartoon, borrowing plenty from it ). As I’ve mentioned before, comic movies were certainly not guaranteed hits back then and were largely considered big gambles.

“We made how much money?”

If that’s the case though, this is one gamble that paid off in a huge way. The budget was around 13 million dollars. Not a giant budget, but decent enough at the time. Its worldwide gross was over 200 million dollars. A shockingly large profit. In fact, for years it was the most profitable independently produced film ever made…actually, it may still be, I just haven’t looked it up. It’s no surprise that the studio rushed a sequel into production and Secret of the Ooze hit theatres a year later. It was also a success but the law of diminishing returns had already started to take effect. By the time the third film hit (which should have been called Turtles in Time, but wasn’t) the franchise was slipping in the profitability department and the franchise laid dormant for a little over a decade.

To me, it’s cool to see such a reverent adaptation of a comic book this early in the life of the comic book film. Batman, for all it did right, made some major concessions to the character’s backstory and pathos. and the Superman franchise had devolved into abject silliness by this time. As such, this could be considered the spiritual successor to Richard Donner’s original Superman: Both were respectful adaptations that made a lot of money and spawned exponentially worse sequels. Hey, there are worse legacies, that’s for sure.

I barely mentioned Casey Jones. He’s awesome. That’s better.

Hulk Vs. Wolverine (2009 short film)

Posted: May 22, 2014 in Deadpool, Hulk, Marvel, Weapon X, Wolverine, X-Men
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Marvel hasn’t had the greatest track record with direct-to-video releases. Sure, most of them weren’t terrible, but they also weren’t amazing. Especially considering what DC had been cranking out during the same 3-4 years of their direct competition in this field. It’s also rather telling that Marvel’s initial contract with Lionsgate has expired forcing them to make animated features piecemeal (only 1 or 2 a year, sometimes less) through different animation houses while DC continues to release 3-4 a year consistently even though Warner Premiere (their initial distributor) no longer exists.

Anyway, Hulk Vs. was a two-part anthology film that featured the jade giant going toe-to-toe with another Marvel super hero. One of the films focuses on Banner’s alter ego under Loki’s control as he tears-ass through Asgard. The other finds him hiding out in the Canadian wilderness which brings him into conflict with Department H’s top agent, The Wolverine. Although, that’s really only the first 5 minutes or so of the film. After their initial confrontation, the new enemies are hunted down by some of Logan’s old compatriots that are rather sore he left their team. The two are sedated, captured and forced to team-up in order to escape and take out their mutual enemies. And who might said enemies be? Why, none other than Weapon X!

“Strike a pose!”

The introduction of this team provides the movie an opportunity to delve into Logan’s backstory. The filmmakers wisely condenses all of the interesting parts into one extended flashback. Forget X-Men Origins: Wolverine, this is the furry Canuck’s REAL origin. Awesomely, the entire section of the film is lifted almost entirely from Barry Windsor-Smith’s exceptional Weapon X story from Marvel Presents. it focuses exclusively on his training and vivisection at the hands of the malevolent Dr. Thornton and sensibly excises anything that isn’t needed to push forward the narrative.

It’s fine, kids. They’re robots…blood filled robots.

From there, the story really picks up. Wolverine forces Hulk out of Banner in a pretty inventive way (one that could never be shown if this was on television) and they cut through Weapon X soldiers and mutants alike. The brutality of these fight scenes is pretty amazing. I’m someone who spent his entire childhood watching Wolverine use his claws primarily on doors and robots. seeing him slice into a soldier and having a crimson stream shoot out, or hack the hand off of someone was a bit jarring in the best way possible. For the first time, the comic’s version of the character was accurately adapted into animation without the need to (pardon the pun) de-claw him.

“It’s-a me, Deadpool!”

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the inclusion of Deadpool in this film. Many people are familiar with the Merc with the Mouth and even more are familiar with his in-name-only appearance in the aforementioned 4th X-Men movie. Discounting that film, this is Deadpool’s first real appearance as a character (not a cameo) in comic book media. And it completely nails the characterization. He’s sarcastic and deadly and shockingly funny. A friend of mine watched this film shortly after Origins. Without knowing the character’s history, he asked, “Those are supposed to be the same guy? Why didn’t the movie use this version?” I’m sure there are many reasons as to why he was so drastically changed in Origins, but that’s a post for a different day.

Place your bets!!!

With Hulk Vs., Marvel’s track record in animation reversed course quite expertly. Sadly, it was short lived. Lionsgate/Marvel’s next feature was Planet Hulk, an excellent adaptation of the comic series which actually improves on the original in some regards. After that, their partnership made only one more feature, the kid-friendly Thor: Tales of Asgard which was only saved by the writing of Craig Kyle. It wasn’t bad, but it was certainly a return to their regular, mediocre form.

There was talk of a whole spinoff series of Hulk Vs. movies. I know Hulk Vs. Venom and Hulk Vs. X-Men were thrown around, but nothing materialized. In the end, it was probably for the best. I had hoped that this would be a new direction for Marvel’s DTV department. In the end, it was more of a fun diversion. But it’s certainly worth watching. It’s short, fun, violent and tells a story that is incredibly true to all characters involved.

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