CBM TASTE TEST: Batman V Superman Cereals

Posted: March 7, 2016 in Uncategorized

The age of cross-promotional foodstuff is seemingly in decline. Sure, there are some properties that are immune to that (like Star Wars, which is apparently immune to decline in general) but we’re a far cry from the heady days of the 80’s and 90’s when nearly anything that could be vaguely marketed toward children got a delicious confection to go along with its action figure line. These days, it seems like only the biggest names in entertainment are given any sort of extended promotion. Movies, by and large, still get their requisite toyline, but even those tend to be far more collector driven than kid-centric. Maybe a shift in the public’s spending money has to do with it. I don’t know, I’m not a socio-economic guy. What I do know is comic book movies and their tie-ins. And, aside from The Avengers, Batman V Superman seems to be the only comic book movie within the last several years to have a breakfast cereal.

bvs
In fact, it has TWO breakfast cereals! Both the Dark Knight and the Man of Steel get their own flavors. Two cereals to appeal to youngsters for a movie that was just announced will be receiving an R-rated director’s cut on Blu-Ray! Well, I’m not here to dissect the logical and moral fallacies in that decision, merely to taste some sugary cereal!

bvscSo, each cereal has a unique and different flavor. Superman’s is the simple sounding “Caramel Crunch” while Batman’s is “Chocolate Strawberry” which is a flavor profile that doesn’t seem to mesh with the Caped Crusader’s inherent darkness. I mean, can you imagine Batman running through the cave and grabbing some fresh strawberries dipped in milk chocolate before taking off to fight crime? I’m not sure which flavor should be associated with Batman, but this one isn’t it. Although, I do need to clarify that this flavor is decidedly “Chocolate Strawberry” and not “Chocolate Dipped Strawberry”. Why that’s important will be clear later. So, right away Superman has an obvious lead. Caramel is such a pure flavor and it’s simplicity is presented without any needless additions. But none of the above matters if the taste doesn’t work. Who knows, maybe chocolate strawberry will work great in cereal form? Maybe caramel crunch will be TOO sweet?

I poured a small bowl of each and alternately took bites of them. After that, I poured a full bowl of each and then ate them individually. In the following, I’ll discuss my thoughts on each before wrapping up.

bhBATMAN: CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY
Opening the box, there’s an immediate and overwhelming aroma of artificial strawberry flavor. Not unlike someone dumped a tin of strawberry Nestlé’s Quick into bag of Cocoa Puffs and then sealed it. The smell only intensified as the cereal poured into the bowl. The aroma/taste of “strawberry” continued well into the first few bites. It wasn’t terrible (the milk helped a bit) but it also didn’t taste very chocolaty. That flavor was almost completely drowned out by the other, much more dominant flavor. Or so I thought. After finishing a few bites, my mouth was (rather suddenly) filled with an overwhelming after-taste of chocolate. Suddenly it was like there had never been any fake-berry flavor to begin with. The irony of it all is, if not for the overly prevalent sugar-berry taste from before, this chocolate flavor would probably suit someone like Batman. It’s a dark, intense flavor. It struck suddenly but it’s effects lingered long after it had gone.

svbSUPERMAN: CARAMEL CRUNCH
As mentioned before, Superman’s cereal is that of a more simple flavor profile. Odds are, if you like caramel, you will like this cereal. It’s a pure flavor that is neither obviously enhanced or diminished by the addition of milk. There is no “hidden” taste and  the tiny, yellowish S-shields are flavorful and very easy to appreciate. Honestly, there’s not much to say about it. It tastes decent and caramel seems to be a flavor that’s somewhat under-represented in cereal aisles.

So, obviously the winner of this match-up is…BATMAN! Why? Because he’s Batman.

But seriously though, Superman is the clear winner. It’s interesting that these two flavors do, in some way, actually reflect the characters on which they’re based. Like their world views,  Batman’s is complex and misunderstood while Superman’s is much more clear and concise. On the page/screen it’s obvious that Batman has the edge because of the complexity that is inherent with his questionable morality/darkness of his personality. But sometimes simple is better. And when it comes to crunchy breakfast cereal, there’s no such thing as too simple. I mean, how do you think Cheerios has dominated the market for like 75 years? So you win this one, Supes, but I’d still put my money on Bats if this were any other match.

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